Rules that a man wants to tell his woman!

Statutory Warning: The ideas below are those of professional humorists. Men are advised not to try it at home….

*…… Shopping is NOT a sport. We never think of it that way.

*…… Crying is pure & simple blackmail

*……. Ask just what you want. Let us be clear on this:
———Subtle hints do not work!
———Strong hints do not work!
———Obvious hints do not work!

*……. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

*……. Come to us with a problem only if you want to help solving it. That’s what we do.

*……. Anything we said 6 months ago is irrelevant in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 5 minutes.

*……. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

*……. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of such makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

*……. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
————Not both.
————If you already know best how to do it, better do it yourself.

*……. Please say whatever you want to say during commercials.

*……. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

*……. We can see only 16 colours, like Windows’ default settings.
———–Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin too.
———–We have no idea what mauve is.

*……. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

*……. If you ask a question without wanting an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

*……. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!

*……. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

*……. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, it’s like camping.

Disclaimer: This is a piece of pure fiction. The character who can say these lines is imaginary and no such man is known to exist.

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